"How Heather got her HAT'ness back!"
"It's like... Dr Seuss meets Bridget Jones"
A full-colour, rhymed, illustrated memoir – part confessional, part creative rebellion – How Heather Got Her HAT’ness Back is for anyone who’s ever tried to fit in… and lost a little of themselves in the process.
Once upon a time, Heather was Hat — a tree-climbing, feather-wearing wild child who coloured outside every line. But as the world’s voices grew louder — be neat, be good, be pretty, be normal — she began trading her sparkle for approval, one compromise at a time.
Years later, surrounded by bills, beige routines and other people’s expectations, she began to wonder: What happened to the real me?
Told in whimsical rhyme and bursting with colour, How Heather Got Her HAT’ness Back is a witty, heartfelt celebration of rediscovering your much’ness — and daring to let it shine again.
Want a copy of my book? Click on any of the links below...
Frequently Asked Questions:
Is this a children's book?
Short answer: Not really… but it depends.
Slightly longer answer: People often assume that it’s a children’s book at first glance (it is an illustrated rhyme, after all)… but… I didn’t have an audience-of-children in mind when I wrote it. It just so happened that an illustrated rhyme was the most authentic, Hattish way for me to tell my own story.
So, no… it’s not the right fit for little kids… BUT… many tweens and teens have loved it and resonated with the themes (especially creative, slightly-offbeat souls who don’t quite fit the mould).
Think of it as a “PG” book: fine for most readers, with a few light touches on real-life topics. Nothing graphic or heavy-handed… just honest, blink-and-you-might-miss-it moments reflecting the messiness of being human.
Why it it’s not quite a “kiddies book”:
- An illustrated poo – a tongue-in-cheek stand-in for the word “shit”.
- A silly/slapstick moment involving a child gleefully popping bloated dead rats with bricks (cartoon-style absurdity, not gore).
- A woman in lingerie… (but nothing more revealing than a bikini), and she’s just standing there.
- Very light mentions of eating disorders, and a fleeting hint of self-harm.
- A vague nod to an extramarital affair (subtle and non-explicit).
- A fat woman in a bikini holding a heart – a playful homage to self-love and body positivity (cue indignant pearl-clutching from the “glorifying obesity” brigade).
- The word “sucking” which apparently is a thing in some circles (#whoknew?)
At its heart… the book is playful, creative, and affirming. I’ve had lovely feedback from parents and teachers who’ve shared it with their older kids, students, and even whole classrooms.
Can we invite you to share your story at an event?
Yes! I’m more than happy to travel (anywhere in the world) to speak at events / share my story / give creative workshops on the topics covered in this book.
Here’s more info on the logistics of all that.
Can we recite your poem in any sort of public arena, ie: on social media or on stage as part of a play, etc?
Short answer: For the most part – yes! (but with a couple of caveats).
Slightly longer answer: I’m thrilled when people want to read or perform my rhyme. If you’ve got a copy of the book and want to:
Read it aloud on social media (with a little show-and-tell of the pages and pictures),
Perform it on stage at a local event, or
Share it in a classroom as part of a discussion or lesson,
…that’s fine by me – in fact, I encourage it! The more folk who hear the poem, the more chance it has of reaching those who’ll love it most.
All I ask is that you:
Credit me clearly.Please tag me and include a link to this website or my official accounts when you share my work.
Don’t change the words.You’re welcome to leave out bits, but please don’t rewrite or edit the poem.
Don’t use it for profit without asking.Sharing it for free on social media, in classrooms, or community events is lovely.
But if you’re planning to use it in a way that earns you money – we’ll need to chat first and agree on something fair.
Important note about classrooms and digital use:
Sharing the book physically in your class: yes.
Scanning the entire book to create your own digital slideshow: no.
That’s because I license an official digital slideshow (with a teacher’s guide) to schools, and that’s the version to use if you want to project the book or show it to larger groups.
So, to put it simply:
- SHARING spreads the Hat’ness & love! 🥰
- DUPLICATING (scans, re-prints & knock-offs) undercuts it 😡
- PLAGIARISM (aka: pretending you wrote it) is theft… and super-ick! 🤮🤬
If you’re unsure whether your idea is fine or needs a quick thumbs-up – just drop me a message. I promise I don’t bite. 😊
Thanks for being awesome, respectful humans and for helping this book reach the people it was meant to reach.
Why did you self-publish? Why didn't you approach a literary agent or publisher?
Because even the word “approach” makes me want to assume the foetal position emotionally. “Approach” is code for “march confidently into a professional space and foist myself upon strangers.”
I just… can’t.
“Approach” = SELL.And more terrifyingly, it means: SELL MYSELF!!!
And I am deeply allergic to selling / promoting myself or anything I’ve made.
Don’t get me wrong… I’d love to be represented by a literary agent! I’d love to see my books magically appear in bookstores! I’d love to be invited to speak at events, and I’d absolutely love for people to buy my work!
It’s just that **I** don’t want to be the one doing the approaching / selling or… (whispers: foisting!).
The mere thought of trotting up to some literary gatekeeper… illustrated manuscript in hand, sporting a smug little “I believe in myself!” grin… makes me want to crawl into a bin and live there forever.
I’d rather gnaw off my own pinkie.
I’d rather snort Vim.
I cannot and will not foist. Why? It’s ’cause I’m a fragile little biscuit with an aggressive case of imposter syndrome.
So, instead of trying to charm agents or publishers – attempting to convince them that I belong in their world (when Idon’t even believe I belong in their world)… I just… skipped past all that and self-published.
Quietly. Like a ninja. In the night.
Like the chicken-hearted snowflake I am.
PS: To the lovely folk who ask: “But why isn’t your book in your local bookstore? I’m sure they’d love to order copies from you if they knew your book existed!”
See my response above.
Same foist-phobia. Same bin-crawling jeebies.